Oh Me. Oh My.

No. I assure you those aren’t orgasm sounds. There’s a lot I have to get off my sick little chest & head, but I always like things to be fresh, out of the box and spontaneous inspiration is often a wonderful thing. Trust me. I’ve scrapped whatever I was going to write about, and decided instead to put a mind-fucking post; a rebuttal and defense or so to speak.

My last post was an ode (it has raised much debate) to the impressionable, at times ominous but always fascinating fairer sex. As I expected many responded rather quickly, some contacted me and said they understand a few things a bit better (with regards to why I refrain from getting attached to ladies), some applauded, most found it intriguing, some were confused even further and… YES… And a handful of jobless, impotent and opinionated candidates – one in particular – had decided to visit my blog… A private forum where I speak my thoughts and feelings… where it is a sanctuary and burial ground for the respective writer… Our community… Our sacred network and she twisted her panties so tight the poor girl must have forgotten her medication and got out of her straight jacket and found a PC in her nut house with an ADSL line.

A few things I must kindly highlight:

‘Your Suite Little Secrets’ as the name depicts (unless you’re illiterate and have a rectum full of peanuts for an imagination) is my personal blog. It’s my personal diary or so to speak and therefore I am quite eligible to post whatever I choose. If that has struck a positive or negative chord in you, I offer no apologies.

My Blog is a personal and satisfactory means of escapism where I can shed a lot of information, hurt, truth, reality and chaos that won’t necessarily be accepted by the wider public. “Elegantly-twisted-me” you’re clearly not one of the people who should twist yourself over someone else’s blog post, and if it bothers you, you shouldn’t visit places that give you the jeepers and creepers.

The blogging community understands significantly that this is a forum, a series of cogs that spin one large wheel in motion. It’s therapeutic and not always ritualistic. NO one wants to read conventional bullcrap, if they do that’s their personal choice, but the entire purpose of an online diary/journal is to be able to say and express emotions and thoughts that you wouldn’t usually let out. Everyone here understands that. You don’t. So as Cartman would kindly advise you ‘You can go fuck yourself.’

‘Your Suite Little Secrets’ is gritty, is vicious, malignant at times and honest a lot of the time. If it’s offended you in anyway, insulted your personal beliefs, your view on my abilities/disabilities (which it clearly has or you wouldn’t really bother putting up a comment on an insignificant blog post now would you darling?) or if it’s made you angry/bitter/frustrated/horny/brought out the primordial female instincts in you/remorse… That’s just Great.

The Defense:

“know what i think suresh? i think u need a hell of a lot of help. first, for being the egoistic bastard that you are.”

First, I don’t know you, we may have met randomly/hooked up/dated/fucked/made kites together/ pissed on the neighbor’s car – though you seem more an entity of nostalgia than anything worth remembering… So I can reach the conclusion that I don’t know you.

So I obviously don’t care what you think.

Secondly, you are right… Since I am the one who happens to be jobless enough to visit other people’s blogs/sites and post my futile opinions and views, questioning the writer’s abilities and talents… Yes… Clearly I need all the help I can get.

Go back and take your medicine now. Get into that straight jacket… close your eyes and count sheep again.

“seriously, how the hell have you managed to convince urself that your so fantastic and that your what every woman/man needs?”

Actually I haven’t implied anywhere that I am fantastic, I’ve pointed out what I would do and wouldn’t.

I am not what every man needs. I am as straight as hell bakes em in stoves. I have gay and bi friends who are very dear to me, I’ll arrange a meeting with them & they’d clear out any doubts about my heterosexuality.

I am also NOT what every woman needs. See I figure that you are either a transvestite I’ve ignored many times, a prostitute; that I’ve never come to ‘cos I’ve pointed out MANY times that I like women with class and eloquence. I don’t do transvestites and hookers on policy.

You can hardly construct a sentence in English without contradicting yourself.

Oh… And you don’t need me or any other ‘unconventional man’ for that matter. You’d be better off settling down with some stereotypical poseur who is financially sound and would like to pledge his undying love to you, and you can be married forever after, have kids, become impotent and then die the significant person you are.

So I am NOT what every woman needs. But then it’s debatable how much of a woman you really are. It’s alright sweety… You can scratch that itching testicle, no one’s looking.

“and that ONLY your music that is the greatest? LOOK AROUND YOU.”

Heavy Metal music and Rock ‘n Roll is the GREATEST form of music and let me tell you why. It’s the only honest, risky and ballsy genre that incorporates a lot of diverse styles, can switch from high intensity to laid back and trippy, speaks about things other than ‘making love with a rose up your arse’ and ‘bunny rabbits’. Rock ‘n Roll has survived your bubblegum music trends for years, it’s in a better place now than it has ever been.

In terms of relevance, arrangements, depth, inspiration, diversity and uniqueness… Nothing is on par. Metal today fuses the grandiose majesty of classical music with the soul watering pathos of blues with the complexities of jazz and funk… Great music, fabulous song writing and thought provoking lyrics. So ONLY our music is still genuinely reaching out to many, many ‘intelligent’ people out there in the world.

You don’t need Nietzsche to tell you that you’re not very intelligent.

I’ve always defended my art, my peers, my fans, my friends, my family and my music. It’s my choice and unlike you feigning your very co-existence into believing you are better than what you actually are… I say what I have to say and always will. I never said Stigz is the beacon messiah of music, never have… But I have said that in this mass commercial farm where imagery sells over quality and talent is a 4 chord arrangement on a Major Scale with some jack ass in a snow cap whining a monotonous drone that is a semi-tone flat throughout – yes… There’s Rock in the mainstream like cold play, train and linkin park that is very much like you.

Doggy poo. You can’t avoid but step on it sometimes. Takes some time rubbing it off though.

In an evocative, passionate and even artistic sense I don’t think there’s anything on par, if there is, quit the croaking and say something with substance and integrity that would justify your musical views.

“your just a figment of washed up talent compared to more solid bands who have their roots in Sri Lanka, not like the white trash you choose to emulate.”

‘Morbid Indiscretion’ – one sold out EP.

‘Hollow Dreams’ – Debut CD, we were kids when we composed the entire record, scrapping it three times to ensure it sounded as best as we could. The rock scene at the time consisted of alternative rock worshippers who wouldn’t look twice at a Metal band. Self produced and independently marketed ‘HD’ has sold nearly 10, 000 copies. That’s not counting the copies and stolen music being distributed.

‘Silent Chaos Serpentine’ – our last record, released in Feb 2006, is selling incredibly well in Sri Lanka, India, Japan, Dubai & Maldives. It’s been reviewed by International Mags and Webzines. Don’t take my word for it. Please see the review on www.tmetal.com. Considering that the guy has reviewed Opeth, Nevermore, Dream Theater, Queensryche, Tool, Guns ‘n Roses, Arch Enemy and Iron Maiden I’d imagine that a reputed American Journalist would bother reviewing “washed up talent” from the arse end of no where.

We’ve played over 200 gigs, headlined festivals both here and abroad. We hope to do a full on tour of Asia in 2008. Hey, at least we are trying to do something here as opposed to being saddled with pessimism and discontent like you and so many others are. We aren’t changing the world, but we are at least putting Sri Lanka on the map. We have an active website, myspace and have positioned ourselves as a musical vehicle with more brand equity than your life is worth. We care about our fans, friends and peers and what they have to say. You’re neither. So please trot away to your cave.

I am sorry… But what qualifies you to judge my musical or sexual endeavors? And what have you accomplished musically to judge us as ‘washed up talent?” You clearly know as much about music as you know about sex. Which appears to be very little.

“Compared to more solid bands in Sri Lanka”
Sorry go back to fingering yourself to your crappy pop rock and/or iraj records. It’s funny that you’ve been unable to actually mention any of these solid artistes.

“not like the white trash you choose to emulate.” – Not heard of the New Wave of Asian Heavy Metal have you? Not heard of Cthonic, Rudra, Parikrama, Paranoid Earthling and Stigmata? Ai-fucking-o. Poor you. You’re barking like a bitch in heat but don’t even know the roots to Rock ‘n Roll.

Either that… Or you’re Color Blind.

“as for u being all cock sure bout how good you are... in bed, sex and everything in between. my ass.”In bed, sex and everything in between.

Damn right you are miss.

Yes… Yes… I’d normally love to ram my jet down a fine sub’s rear… I am sorry love… You’re just NOT my type.

“u dont even belong in the average list. even a torch would not help you to hit the right places. heard of the saying "all fart and no shit"? that’s EXACTLY what you are.”

Whose average list, yours? No thank you.

Obviously ALL your sexual encounters with men, women (in-between) have resulted in them having to use torches… I think quite a few people will tell you that if you gave me a torch/candle you’d permanently confuse the right places from the wrong ones.

‘All fart and no shit?’
That’s incorrect. I don’t much fancy pee and poo fetish. Even farts for that matter. You actually sound like my ex.

“yeah, rock on. ;p”

My dear, dear, dear poor, misled creature. Do yourself a favor and never visit my ‘suite’ blog again. Don’t mess around with what you don’t know. I’d love to tell you that you’d wake up and find yourself reverse hogtied, hanging from a ceiling fan in a large, abandoned, broken down building where the carrion would perch and wait to feast on your corpse… But… Actually just don’t jabber about what you have no knowledge about, ‘cos it makes you look like the 2 inch blob of poo that came outta my bum this morning.

‘Give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s bitch…‘Cos this ain’t your jungle baby.

Stay in your side of the world and we’ll survive and sin in ours.’