Hey, have you wanked at work?

‘Hey, have you wanked at work?’ a conversation triggered a few days ago back home after a healthy Bong or Two, and at the time it seemed like one of those cliché/common subjects that everyone feels awkward to openly speak out about. After awhile it seemed a great many actually admitted to being horny at work and having unloaded their shotguns at some point in their corporate work places. Of course it’s a lot easier for guys to just march into a vacant room or a gents’ room and stroke their salamis than it would be for a lady… But it does make me wonder. I mean if it’s raining pigs and sews, it’s a cold fucking day, the AC freezing your butt off… and before you can make sense of the ‘Why do I feel like there’s lava in my loins?’ you realize that your blood’s pumping into to your private Ryan and the motherfucker decides to stand and salute the world at the most obscure moment. Very few can contain & control themselves while others need to unload ASAP. So what to do? What can you do? What would you do? Can you live with the crime of knowingly spilling mercury at your work place? Sounds nuts I know… but think about it. How many people – being human – not being able to let their most primal needs subside, how many can just block all thoughts of whatever makes your genitals tick and tock? Sometimes action is required. And I ask you if people can endorse Quickies at work, if people can download and watch tons of porn pretending to be working relentlessly… is it such a crime at your own discretion to find spiritual enlightenment in office? :>>

It was fascinating how all the ladies admitted to being horny at work at some point, but refused to comment on the (obvious) mode of action they envisaged to let the tension and horniness subside. They were open to quickies but a little strumming… drew surprising silence. The silence of the lambs. Heh. The dudes of course admitted to countless crimes and other criminal sexual endeavors at work – fuckers love talking about what they do and get away with – and some actually stated that once they unload their minds are a lot clearer and they can go back to concentrating on their work. This isn’t bullshit. One can’t help it sometimes… something kinky, something sensually stimulating or something that turns you on does just that. It turns you on and you can’t always turn your body off. A great many would like to dwell in their feigned delusions of ‘That’s just sick… you should control your emotions’. Really? Thought it was like some fucking TV that you could use a remote and change channels, press mute and switch on and off when you feel like it? What’s the sodden reality? Human beings get aroused and it’s perfectly natural. But not everyone can fire a call during lunch break, have a partner in crime over and have a nice quick ram and benediction. Not everyone is that lucky… and those who are, Kudos to you.

What’s Better or Worse?

Dudes: Being suffocated with work, you have to meet your deadlines and ‘whallah!’ your magic wand is going all ‘Harry fucking Potter’ on you. Now it’s bad enough you’re going a step short of nuts and then this doesn’t help. What do you do? Go outside and take a walk? Think of things that disgust you with the silent hope of Harry sitting the fuck down? Think of trees and deep blue skies so all sexual feelings will recede? You don’t have all day and it’s better to get it the hell out of your way. Of course there are a precious few who upon unloading may find the urge to unload more. That would be most unfortunate for you at that time. Unless you’re like 6 years old don’t let your peers know you carry tissues and handkerchiefs around okie? |-|

Ladies: You’re having a rough day, everyone’s getting on your nerves, needles twisting in your veins – you’ve been so damned busy you haven’t had time to tend to your physical & spiritual needs … suddenly you stumble upon a mail sent to you by a pal. You end up staring at a number of intriguing scenarios/photographs/pics of women/men in vigorous turmoil. Strictly restrained, teased and systematically tortured… Reverse prayer hogties, clamps, suction cups and harness bit/ball gags/masks/hoods shutting out sight, sound and speech. It’s you’re mug of hash and you lose the plot. You start to drip intricately and then what do you do? You tell me…

Whether it’s a good day at work, an awful one, whether we are filled to the brim with deadlines and projects or with a bit of liberty and free time what the hell can anyone really do if your body obeys its most natural need? Once again, if you can contain yourself that’s great but my point is that there will always be that rare one time where you’re about to explode like a napalm. If you expect me to believe that –

Only certain type of people get horny while at work
All diligent people with self-control can stop themselves from feeling aroused
Hold onto your need till you get back home
You buzz your boy/girl friend/hubby/wife/FB and say you’re horny and chat till you calm your nerves
You go for lunch, discuss politics and the weather (both are increasingly unpredictable in SL at the moment), puff on as many cigarettes as you like, drink a tea: how ingeniously stupid
Pray: for your transgressions and it will all be fine (if you’re a religious nut)
Stare at mortifying and horrifying pics on the net that will make you get sick of sex PERIOD
Just focus on your work and all distractions will wither away – what a fairytale utopia
You take up yoga and meditation to control the flow of feelings in your body in case of a sexual emergency
You do absolutely nothing and make your mind go white/blank at the whiff of euphoria

I don’t buy it… Don’t bother selling it and I think quite a few people will agree that bullshit is losing its place in the ‘poo’ hierarchy. Flesh craves for flesh. The mind craves for control and submission. The heart craves for emotional rapture while bodies entwine. The soul needs its orgasms – multiple, forced, denied or otherwise. We don’t have to be a set of monkeys scratching our privates inside a lovely little cage. Caution and sensibility is important and naturally there’s a time and place for anything… for everything. But you can’t pour water into an erupting volcano and expect it to cool off. Sometimes as mortal beings that succumb to our priority of needs and wants - we must learn the articulate means of controlling ourselves… for there’s something intriguing about knowing that you have power over your self – self-control if you’d like to dub it something. The whip won’t always drive the horse. The horse won’t always obey the whip. And slaves don’t always serve. And the greatest of all Masters and Mistresses can’t always be in control. Where’s the fun or logic in that anyway? Somehow the word ‘logic’ seems ruefully out of place in this post eh?

So tell me… it must have surely crossed your mind at some point/if not any other part of your body…

Have you pleasured yourself at work?

Finger dipped in honey? Or a hand that coils around z shaft?

Like flies to shit… Bees to honey right?